Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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