I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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