U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i've created a new STD.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
