ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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