Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
