Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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