Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
