I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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