he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize