Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
