Me too!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
