I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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