OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
