Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
