It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
