I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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