I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
