Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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