So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize