i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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