I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
