It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
did you just send me my own nude
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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