i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize