...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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