my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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