I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
