I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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