Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
