i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize