you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
