I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
