why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
