I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
