What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
