shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
