She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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