At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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