No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
