I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
