arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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