i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
