Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
