nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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