It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
