My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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