everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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