I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
