You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
