mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize