i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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