Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That's intense
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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