apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
