He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
there is glitter all over my balls
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
