3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
