got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
