What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
