grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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