i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
