I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im having a threesome with these popsicles
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
