I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
