You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize