This is not my ceiling
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
