didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize