just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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