At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
