Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
